For several years I’ve been decentering celebrity/influencer culture on my social media e.g. not subscribing to channels with more than 100,000 subscribers. It’s not that I don’t watch their content, I just assume that the algorithm will show it to me anyway. Since the internet plays a big role in meeting my social needs, I want to spend my attention and energy on people who are not “too big to reply”.

In 2023 I was invited to join a panel of advisors on a topic relevant to my experience and work. Afterward, another panellist asked me some polite and kind questions about what I do, and I responded in kind.

They were noticeably puzzled that I didn’t recognise them. Turns out they are a minor internet celebrity with a very large channel covering the exact kinds of things I’m interested in. They ended up sharing with me that their videos have been suppressed by the algorithm for several years - ever since they transitioned, because the algorithm systematically oppresses trans voices - and it’s really affected their livelihood and self-esteem.

At some point I realise I do know who this person is, but it feels too late to backtrack, I’ve already hurt their feelings and made them think about this really painful thing. And how would I even explain it at this point? “Sorry I didn’t recognise you because I don’t follow famous people”? I couldn’t think of a non-awkward way to put it.

They continue to be very kind and friendly despite my apparent obliviousness, and say they will add me on some social media site that we both use. Perhaps unsurprisingly, they did not follow through on this! And now I’m forever the weird guy who claimed to work in the same field as them but had no idea who they were.

I still don’t follow them though because seriously, fuck celebrity culture!!